I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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