So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
