is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
