One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
