I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
