yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
