Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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