I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize