I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
