i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
