I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
