if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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