OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
