Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i out mim tonsoeep
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
