As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
