I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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