I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
