i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
