Hey man sorry I got all grabby
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
