if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
