Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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