so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
