WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
