Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
how drunk are you?
Several
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
