I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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