the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
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