he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
