I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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