There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
