There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
