My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
