Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
