i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
