is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
are you so shy because you have an std?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
