butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just wanna soil my oats bro
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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