There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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