Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize