that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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