just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
