Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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