i may or may not be watching the land before time
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
