I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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