we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
someone owes me an orgasm
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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