these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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