As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Pooping to opera.
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