"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
