U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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