why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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