he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize