i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
