She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
