k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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