She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
