K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
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