what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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