So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
