This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
