i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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