I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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