So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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