You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
