I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize