omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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