im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
