How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize