The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
